Non-existence

This showed up on the Daily Dish this morning:

Nowadays, if you’re not on Facebook, it’s possible you don’t actually exist. There was a time when we had to exchange phone numbers or email addresses to keep in touch with a new acquaintance. Now, we usually just head to Facebook and friend them.

My sister agrees with this perspective… or at least she used to.

At Thanksgiving two years ago, my cousin told us about a girl he was dating. Marie wanted to stalk her, but she was not on Facebook. She told Taylor, my cousin, that if she didn’t have Facebook, she wasn’t real. Everyone has Facebook.

Last fall, Marie started dating a guy. I wanted to know what he looked like, but I couldn’t because he didn’t exist  have Facebook. Even weirder: NO ONE EVER MET HIM. We were supposed to meet him at Thanksgiving, but he dumped her. Then, after they reconciled, he was going to come over for her birthday dinner, but he continued not existing got sick and couldn’t come. She dumped him a few days later.

I’ll let you decide whether or not she made him up.

I think the moral of the story is that my continued sentient existence on this planet is probably dependent on my reactivation of Facebook.